he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
