I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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