wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
