i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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