i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
