it wasn't lemon gatorade
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
