When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
