God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
