you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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