i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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