Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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