you guys were way drunker than both of me
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
