It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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