Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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