I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
