I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
