Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
