it wasn't lemon gatorade
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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