On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
