what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
