The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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