u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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