Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Houston, we have a squirter
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
