ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I can't turn off my feet"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
