If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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