so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
