He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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