So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
