We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
