Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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