i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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