i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
