saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
