just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
