Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
