New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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