I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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