So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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