She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
