is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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