you traded sex for a burrito?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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