Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
