pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
