They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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