bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
