Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
