And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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