i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
