do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
