Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
