Ambien. No doubt about it.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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