If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
