i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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